Why Men's Clothes Matter in Dating

Blake Lively & Ryan Reynolds

More men are dating far more now, than ever before. The average man waits until age 29 to get married, and more men get divorced and begin dating again.

Here's one woman's view on men's clothes and dating. Blake Lively, who just married Ryan Reynolds, said, "It's definitely attractive when a man can dress well." Yes, they're both gorgeous movie stars regardless of the question of style. But even at that level of dating, clothes make a crucial difference.

What men wear on initial dates can greatly influence how women respond to them. It is often said that men are undressing women with their eyes. Men hope that women are doing the same to them. But if your clothes are non-optimal, instead she may be dressing you with her eyes -- mentally changing what you're wearing to see if it improves how she feels about dating you. This is something a man wants to avoid, since it can prevent the woman from developing a stronger interest in him.

Some guys consider this unfair, since there can actually be an inverse relationship between a man's partner-material qualifications and his style sophistication. A player type of guy has to look great to keep attracting new women; players usually dress better than most for this reason. Women know this, but can't just ignore what their dates are wearing, because clothes are still a valid source of dating information.

So why are women so obsessed with their date's clothes? Several reasons, not all superficial. Because she is hoping to connect with the right man, and proper clothes can help her fall for you in these ways:

• Increase the Appearance of Symmetry -- Attractiveness is closely tied to symmetry, studies show. Yet no one is completely symmetrical. Good clothing choices use color and proportion to strengthen the perception of harmony and balance, and restore symmetry where needed.

• Make Good Features More Noticeable -- The right clothing uses just enough contrast to draw attention to the person, and then direct it to his face, without distracting from his best features.Colors and patterns can absolutely emphasize eyes, hair, cheekbones, etc.

• Reveal or Conceal the Body -- Fit is essential to suggest what's beneath your clothes in the most becoming way. The right fit reveals body shape where it is advantageous, and conceals it where appropriate. The best clothes follow your body so naturally and comfortably, it looks like you were born in them (aka naked). 

• Convey Social Information -- Clothing choices indicate social standing, group belonging, and financial resources through various cues and references. You can use these to deliver the message you choose.

• Convey Sexual Identity Information -- Styles can communicate whether a man is straight or gay, and his mix of masculine and feminine qualities.

• Convey Personality Information -- Clothes can also indicate other desirable traits like athleticism, stability, humor, imagination, before even arriving at taste.

Also, many women spend tons of time trying to upgrade their looks through clothing, to be considered socially attractive and increase their appeal to men. They know how powerful clothes are, so it is difficult for them to just switch off a habit of visual analysis. Generally, the more well-put-together the woman, the more aware of your clothes she will be.

Your clothes should support your dating goals, not detract from them. Take control by making sure your clothes don't distract your date by putting her into problem-solving mode. Ideally, your well-selected clothes portray who you are accurately and effectively, to win over the woman of your choice. Contact us at missmenswear.com.

Store Stylists and Personal Stylists

This season, many retailers have added "personal stylists" to their existing sales staff. Luxury department stores have offered personal shoppers for years. These services can be very helpful, especially for suggesting complete looks, but they are not the same as having your own personal stylist.

What is the difference between these free services and an independent personal stylist like Miss Menswear that you hire directly?

The most crucial difference is motive -- is the stylist working exclusively for you, or primarily for the store where you're shopping? Store-supplied personal shoppers or stylists do offer a sense of increased focus on you the client. But their bottom line goal is to encourage you to spend as much as possible, within that store, immediately. The store's interests logically come before yours, and the store salesperson is always conscious of making a quota or commission.

The best salespeople keep the client's interests in mind, but it can be very difficult to detect who those are. We've all been told that something looks good on us, when obviously it doesn't. It is impossible to know whether a particular item is being recommended because it's right for us, or because there are too many in the store's inventory, or because that item is more profitable to sell than other items. Store employees are nearly always compromised by incentives other than your best interests.

This is why women so often team up for shopping; they would rather hear the objective advice of a friend and ally. Many men don't have this option.

With your own personal stylist who works for you and you only, you can be certain that the stylist will show you the best items among stores; find solutions within your budget and not pressure you to exceed it; and maintain focus on what honestly looks best on you as an individual. The stylist's only goal is for you to succeed in selecting your wardrobe.

Your personal stylist will also have invested much more time and effort in developing deep knowledge of men's fashion and styling skills. The stylist will have gathered more information about your preferences and lifestyle to inform style suggestions. The ideal is a stylist who brings a comprehensive approach to shopping for you, and can maximize use of all shopping resources without any conflict of interest. Contact us at missmenswear.com.